THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #159

"Arm-in-Arm-in-Arm-in-Arm-in-Arm-in-Arm With Doctor Octopus"

• Writer: Len Wein
• Artist: Ross Andru
• Inker: Mike Esposito
• Print Date: Aug, 1976

Featuring:

Plot Summary:

Octopus strikes first attempting to tangle Hammerhead up with all four of his arms. Hammerhead is faster though, and leaps to the side as he grabs one of Otto's arms and uses the leverage to knock Octopus back. Spider-Man distracts Hammerhead with a "Hey, Flat-top -- Over here!" as he takes a crack at Hammerheads jaw. Hammerhead ducks though allowing Spider-Man to mangle his hand on Hammerhead's solid-steel skull. As Spider-Man Yeeooowww'ches in pain, Hammerhead slams his skull into Spider-Man's ribs leaving Spider-Man curled up on the ground in pain. Octopus moves in for the tag team and batters Hammerhead around the head with his tentacles. As Hammerhead charges Octopus, Spider-Man leaps into the fray. Hilarity ensues as the three bong heads a la the Three Stooges. As stars whirl around the room, all three of the combatants collapse in a daze.

Aunt May stands for an instant in stunned horror and then begins to scream her frail silver-haired head off which in turns, sets off a most remarkable chain of events. On the ground outside the facility, Suffolk County's crack SWAT team commences an armed assault. On the roof, a rather incredibly designed helicopter descends silently then swiftly discharges a bizarrely-costumed squad of commandos, who pry loose the cover of a convenient ventilation shaft and lower themselves straight towards to the confrontation. Why don't we just pop back inside and watch!

"It looks like I'm the first one to wake up!" Peter thinks to himself as he rubs his aching skull. He gets up with the intention of webbing up Doc Ock and Hammerhead when he's fired upon from above by a small machine-gun. Hammerhead's commandos descend from the ventilation shaft unto a convenient catwalk and sight in Spider-Man with machine-guns. At this moment, the SWAT team rushes in from a stairwell and cover the commandos with their assault rifles. One of the commandos opens fire on the cops, but Spider-Man spoils his aim with a glop of webbing to the eyes. The cops (inexplicably firing "anesthetic bullets") returns fire knocking the commando off the catwalk. Spider-Man moves in to catch the commando before he breaks his neck on the ground, but he trips over Doc Ock's tentacles causing the gun-wielding weirdo to fall right on top of him. Spider-Man uses the unconscious commando as projectile against another commando as a wild firefight between the cops and criminals breaks out. It's every man for himself as Spider-Man dodges fire and attacks cops and criminals alike. Doc Ock makes short work of a couple of cops as he hurries across the room to rescue Aunt May. Unfortunately, Hammerhead has reached her first, and holds a gun to May's head as he drags her to a nearby life to the roof. Hammerhead's goons cover their escape with some smoke-bombs as Hammerhead makes for his waiting escape copter. Spider-Man and Octopus reach the roof, but they're too late: Hammerhead's copter is quickly vanishing in the distance. Octopus suggests to Spider-Man that by working together they can be more effective as rescuing May from Hammerhead's clutches. "Okay, I'll work with you, Octopus, but I won't shake your hand!" The unlikely allies hurry away from the research facility.

Meanwhile, elsewhere. A lone figure works on an engine at a workbench while another mysterious figure (smoking a cigarette) comments, "You never stop working, do you?" "Idle hands are the devil's work" is the response as the figure and his assistant named Toy install the modified engine into a dune buggy vehicle. A few minutes later, the work is complete and the two figures step back to admire Spider-Man's newly modified Spider-Mobile. "Once I put this machine in action, Spider-Man will never bother anyone again!"

The preceding is what we in the business call a teaser. Now back to our regularly scheduled story: Spider-Man and Doctor Octopus, working together to rescue Aunt May, move quickly through New York and pass the Bugle offices. Our favorite editor, J. Jonah Jameson, spots the two traveling together. He orders his new temp secretary (a heavy-set woman named Miss Plumm) to call the mayor, call the governor, call the president, and get the files on Doctor Octopus, Spider-Man, and anyone else she can think of! Moments later, as Miss Plumm dials the phone, Jonah steps out of his office to demand those files. She drags a stack of files out of a nearby filing cabinet, and carries them into Jonah's office. Jonah demands, "Files? What files? I told you too make phone calls!" This is the last straw, and Robbie watches with some amusement and Miss Plumm throws the files around the office and storms out. "I tell you, Robbie, you just can't get competent help these days." Two secretaries down.

While the dust settles in jolly Jonah's office, let's cut to a deserted rooftop across town and get back to business. Spider-Man and Doctor Octopus overlook a night club that used to be Hammerhead's old hangout. Spider-Man spots two of Hammerhead's goons standing guard just inside the door, and two move into action. While one goon lights up and talks about how he's amazed that A-bomb didn't finish the boss, Octopus snacks a tentacle around the other goon and drags him out through a window. When the first goon turns around in surprise and looks for his friend, Spider-Man descends behind him. Spinning around again, the goon comes face-to-face with a very upset Spider-Man and gets a fist to the jaw for his troubles.

Moments later, Spider-Man and Octopus sneak in through the kitchen. They surprise two short order cooks, but Octopus pins them helplessly to the wall with a flurry of well-thrown butcher knives. Spider-Man is stopped from entering the club but two gun-toting thugs. Moving with blinding speed, Spider-Man puts both thugs out of commission with a couple of well-placed fry pans.

In the night club's office, Hammerhead gleefully offers Aunt May a slug of whiskey. When she refuses and insults his drink of choices, he raises his arm to give her a smack across the face. However he is stopped as a serving cart (loaded with two tied-up thugs) bursts out the kitchen door and crashes between him and Aunt May. Hammerhead sees Spider-Man and Octopus coming in the room and springs his trap. With a press of a secret button, the walls on either side of the mismatched pair putting them in the cross-fire between a half-dozen well-armed thugs. Hammerhead opens the barrage with his Tfommy-gun, but a well-placed web shots causes his chatter-gun to blow up in his face. Following his web line up with a quick two-footed flip to Hammerhead's chest, Spider-Man allows Dr. Octopus to quickly dispose of the small army of hired thugs. Once Hammerhead is stunned, Spider-Man rips open the metal floor and rolls the now unconscious Aunt May into a protective cocoon. Unfortunately, Hammerhead isn't ready to be capture and hits another hidden switch revealing his office to be a giant revolving turn-table.

Ok, this is bit hard to explain and even a bit difficult to understand visually, but the entire office starts to spin like a centrifuge. As it spins, the lone window in the room occasionally lines up with a window in the brick wall surrounding the spinning room. On the first pass, Hammerhead times his leap and manages to jump through the brief opening. As the room spins faster and faster, Spider-Man is kept busy trying not fall through the hole he ripped in the floor (to protect Aunt May) and into the room's giant gears. Meanwhile, Doc Ock has positioned himself by the window and is waiting for the opening to line up on the next pass. Octopus times his leap and escapes the room in pursuit of Hammerhead as Spider-Man busies himself throwing any furniture he can find into the gears below. As a matter of note, no mention of Aunt May is made after the room starts spinning, so I have no clue what happened to her during all this. Finally with a loud GRUNCH, the turntable has stopped spinning, allowing the few remaining conscious thugs to scramble to retrieve their weapons. However, three armed thugs are no match for the Webhead and he makes short work of them. Unfortunately, the spinning room has stopped in a position that the window is blocked by a brick wall leaving Spider-Man to wonder how he's going to pursue the two madmen.

Cutting to the night club's room, Doctor Octopus shots at Hammerhead calling him a coward. Suddenly the rooftop starts to move beneath his feet, and Doctor Octopus is flipped rather unceremoniously into the adjoining alleyway. A certain unusual helicopter lifts off from it's launch pad hidden beneath the roof as Hammerhead makes his escape. Hammerhead waves and gloats as Octopus fumes on the street below. Looking around for any sort of weapons, Octopus begins launching trash cans at the lifting helicopter. The first shot is too long, his second falls short, but by his third shot, Doc Ock has found his range and his makeshift missile connects. "Ya can't do this to me! Not again! Not again!" Hammerhead shouts as his crippled helicopter tailspins into the Hudson River and explodes in a shower of debris.

Punching his way out of the roof, Spider-Man carrying the still form of Aunt May to safety on the roof. Octopus shouts to Spider-Man that Hammerhead is finished, and he demands that Spidey hand over May Parker or he'll tear him limb-from-limb. Spider-Man refuses but before Octopus can make good on his threat, he is distracted by the sound of approaching sirens. Not wanting to risk capture by battling Spider-Man and the police, octopus flees into the night vowing to return. Seconds later, Spider-Man carries Aunt May to the street and places her by an approaching fire truck, so the emergency personnel can attend to her. Our hero then makes his exit before he takes the blame for starting the Towering Inferno.

Comments:

All right, I'm feeling annoyed and violent. First off, it's still Sunday and I'll still plugging away on my three-issue story arc review. This is taking much longer than I had expected. Next, what started out as a reasonably good story slowly deteriorated until we get the ridiculously contrived fight at Hammerhead's hideout. To reflect my nasty mood, I'm writing this to Ministry's "Greatest Fits" album.

Plot Analysis:

Ok, where to start with the badness. First we have Octopus and Spider-Man teaming up against Hammerhead. Now, these two teaming up against an Al Capone wannabe is like Mike Tyson and Lennox Lewis teaming up to take down Eric "Butterbean" Esch. I mean, you'd think given the options, Octopus would rather have help taking down Spider-Man and vice versa, but that's not the way this writer say it. As if that wasn't bad enough, they attack Hammerhead tag-team style and worst of all Hammerhead manages to get the better of both of them. That is until the fight is brought to an inconclusive finish "Three Stooges" style when the combatants manage to conk heads simultaneously knocking them all out.

Next, the SWAT teams decide to go in and rescue Aunt May. This is understandable and perfectly reasonable especially if they had any spotters watching the fight. Of course, I'd prefer to use snipers when dealing with super villain rather than close-combat commandos, but what do I know? Of course, I'm just a cold-blooded killer apparently. I mean, this SWAT team is so concerned about people getting hurt that they're actually shooting "anesthetic bullets" (No, I am not making this up) whatever those are. Then, Hammerhead's goons show up inexplicably. How they knew where and when to come to the lab is completely left open. I suppose Hammerhead could've talked to them in spirit-form, but their appearance here at this place, at this moment, seems a little too contrived. At least the villain's appear to be using 'real' bullets this time even if they can't the broad side of a barn with their Uzi's.

Another thing that bothered me is both the cops and Spider-Man's first concern should be the hostage Aunt May. However, during the free-for-all, the only person who even makes a token attempt at rescuing May is Otto which is, of course, how Hammerhead manages to spirit her away during the course of the fight.

Hmm, the Spider-Mobile as an engine of death? This should be pretty amusing. And, in a second interlude, Jonah goes through temp number two.

Spider-Man and Octopus have a much too easy time tracking down Hammerhead. Hammerhead, as a creature of habit, has returned with his hostage to one of his old and publicly known night clubs. Spider-Man and Octopus start working together, but I find it silly that we're treated to a "kinder, gentler Octopus" instead of a ruthless villain. I mean, Hammerhead has kidnapped the woman that Otto loves, why would Otto be so willing to take it easy on Hammerhead's goons. I mean, in every fight, Otto knocks people out instead of finishing them off. He pins the chefs to the wall by their clothes with a volley of thrown knives instead of just taking them out permanently. I'm not necessarily advocating more blood and guts in a Spider-Man comic, but may be a little realistic portrayal of how ruthless and callous these characters can be. Is that too much to ask?

Hammerhead's "spinning office trap" was too much. Until that room started spinning it was shown to be a normal, square office. At the touch of a hidden button (the second hidden button Hammerhead has access to this issue), the room is suddenly round and able to spin around like a top. That was the last straw, and I nearly gave up on the issue right there. Thankfully, it didn't get any worse.

And finally, Octopus shows his ruthless side, destroying Hammerhead helicopter in flight causing it to crash into the Hudson River, killing all aboard (yeah, right!). Apparently the writer was tired of the whole story at this point too because Spider-Man inexplicably let's Octopus go knowing he's going to return again someday soon.

Art Review:

Ok, characters were drawn well, but that was about. There was a lot I didn't like about the art this issue. Starting with the settings. The atomic lab, as I mentioned last issue, looked more like a half-empty gym than a high-tech lab. And then there was the "spinning office" in Hammerhead's hideout. I blame the writer for introducing such a stupid thing in the first place, but Ross Andru's art didn't make it any easier to swallow.

Also, Hammerhead is supposed to be this classic gangster in the style of Al Capone. All his men dress in the classic pinstripes, they use Tommy-guns more than anything, and they hang out in night clubs. What was up with the "high-tech" yellow dressed commando squad earlier. What would've been wrong with Hammerhead's normal goons rescuing him instead the weird, bio-hazard suit wearing goons? Next, why did Hammerhead have to use a high-tech, futuristic looking helicopter to get away? What would have been wrong about him using a normal helicopter to escape? Or, for that matter, staying more in character, having his men bust through the cordon with a bulletproof Model T or something similar? Visually, that would have been more interesting and more in the style of the character.

Action Factor:

Ok, for as much action as there was, it all sucked. I couldn't take Hammerhead as a credible foe to stand toe-to-toe with Doctor Octopus and Spider-Man. I hated that he got the better of them so much in this issue. I hated the cops using 'anesthetic bullets'. I hated the spinning office deathtrap. I hated the goons dressed in biohazard looking suits. I hated the helicopter Hammerhead uses to escape. Mmm.. other than that the action might've been OK except there wasn't anything besides that.

Spider-Villain lessons 101:

Tip #1:
Apparently in the 70's, sci-fi looking bright colors are a must for dressing your evil commando squads in. If I ever want to go for a retro-look, I'll be sure to raid the set of a bad sci-fi movie for costumes.

Tip #2:
No matter how evil, crazy, or ruthless you are, the cops are concerned about your safety as well even to the point of packing anesthetic bullets so you won't get hurt when they come bursting in to rescue your hostage.

Tip #3:
Oh, and for some reason, when Spider-Man and Doctor Octopus team up, they are less competent and less effective than either working by themselves. More research needs to be done to see if this is indicative of every "hero/villain" partnership or not, but if so, it's something that's just begging to be exploited.